A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey

Have Some Sympathy, And Some Taste

2012-01-30T09:56:00.000-08:00

Here's a video of The Stones transforming Mick Jagger's lame Dylanesque ballad called "The Devil Is My Name" into the awesomely evil samba that would become "Sympathy for the Devil" as we know and love it. It's kind of long, but it's cool to see The Stones in the studio during their best period, and it's worth it for the sartorial inspiration alone.

You're Welcome

2012-01-28T19:27:00.001-08:00

Play this jam for your ladyfriend tonight. Thank us for the lay later.

Dopplegangers: LDP Edition

2012-01-28T09:43:00.000-08:00

Lou Diamond Phillips (or LDP as he is known to his inner circle) is looking a lot like the wise turtle from The Neverending Story these days. You know what that means: doppleganger alert. Duck and cover!

LDP:

TURTLE FROM THE NEVERENDING STORY:

Hipster Time Warp

2012-01-27T15:09:00.000-08:00

The LiberDad sent me this pic in a text with a message saying, "Hipsters a la 1960." It's a good look. We approve.

What Would Andrew Jackson Do?

2012-01-26T17:34:00.000-08:00

I honestly like that Obama is cool with killing folks. That's what a President should do. Hell, Andrew Jackson was totally down with killing folks, and if you're doing what Andrew Jackson was doing, you're doing shit right. I mean, he's on the twenty dollar bill.

Most recently, Obama authorized SEAL Team 6 (the ones who killed Bin Laden) to rescue two sick hostages from Somali pirates. They managed to knock off nine pirates while doing so. I'd like to think that the rescue looked something like the rescue from Life Aquatic. In fact, I'm pretty sure it did.

I can't wait to see who's next on Dirty Barry's hit list.

Ode To Spain, Pt. 2

2012-01-24T16:20:00.000-08:00

And now we continue with the much-anticipated finale to The Libertine's rollicking account of his trip to Spain. ¡Olé!

TRAINS

The dining car, baby. Where the magic happens.

Spanish trains are beautiful, fast, always on time, and they have dining cars that sell booze. People that ride them smell as if they take regular showers, and they almost always have all of their teeth. I'll take a Spanish train over an airplane any day of the week.

IN CONCLUSION: Fuck a car in Spain.

TOLEDO

The coolest thing about Europe is that it is as old as shit. People have been living, dying, and killing each other on that rotten piece of land for a very long time. Cities like Rome, Paris, and Venice exemplify the beauty that comes from a history like that, but they also seem like they would be a real pain in the ass to visit. You know--places where it's hard to find an honest bar. Toledo, which is a thirty-five minute train ride (amazing: see above) south of Madrid, has all the charm of those ancient cities without all of the Eurohassle.

If The Libertine remembers properly, we had pretty terrible hangovers coming out of Madrid. Then again, there were many hungover odysseys during our trip--they start to blur together. At any rate, the beauty of Toledo hits you right off the train, and it keeps getting better as you drive up the hill into the old part of the town. Toledo used to be the seat of the Spanish throne, and you can see why those old bastards chose the place--it's built on an imposing hill surrounded by a river. Defensible position, bitches.

The streets in the old part of town are only wide enough for one of those tiny Eurotaxis (which are all immaculately clean), and we spent our afternoon wandering around on them. You had to step into door portals to keep from getting nicked by cars. It's impossible not to get lost--Toledo comes from a time before grid planning was even a twinkle in city planners' eyes.

One of the best nights of the trip was spent in Toledo in the rain. We had good local food in a restaurant carved into the side of the hill, and an acute no-booze crisis (bodegas close early) was averted when The Libertrix somehow managed to score a bottle of champagne from the closed fine dining restaurant next to our hostel. That's resourcefulness right there.

Walking through the Toledo streets was like being back in medieval times, but it was awesome to get back to the hostel and watch My Super Sweet 16 in Spanish. With contraband champagne. Perfection.

IN CONCLUSION: We love resourcefulness. We LOVE it.

AIRPORT HOTELS

Purgatorio.

Redrum. Redrum. Redrum. Oh, sorry--just thinking about our Madrid airport hotel experience the night before we flew back home must have...distracted me or something.

Airport hotels are among the most depressing places on earth. They're always in the warehouse district, the employees are always defeated locals jaded from dealing with thousands of fat tourists, and said fat tourists are always shuffling around the place like zombies in search of a meal.

We were two such zombies when our flight back to The States was canceled. They shuttled us to this dilapidated and fluorescent-lit purgatory near the airport, where they gave us a room overlooking a soul-crushingly empty parking lot and three tickets to the buffet. We turned our frowns upside down by helping ourselves to copious amounts of the free wine they gave each table at the buffet. We were wasted after the wine at "lunch" (those bastards eat late there), and we burnished our credentials at dinner, where families warily eyed us as we roved from table to table, polishing off all of the bottles of wine left behind by drinkers far less studious than ourselves. 5 o'clock came mighty early the next morning, but it was good memories.

IN CONCLUSION: Heeerrre's Johnny!!

Ode To Spain, Pt. 1

2012-01-16T17:01:00.001-08:00

Shit. How is it already 2K12? (A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey is pushing "2K12" because--let's face it--the "K" is WAY cooler than a zero.) As the vast readership of AAPOW well knows, The Libertine ventured to Spain this past November, and he has been working on his memoir about the trip since. What follows is an excerpt of his account, the entirety of which will no doubt soon be published in Vanity Fair.

BOOZING Y CERVECERIAS

Cervezeria San Bruno in Madrid. Right hurr's the spot.

The good news is that the Spaniards love them some booze. I had them pegged as beer lovers, but it appears that there are only three or four varieties of beer commonly available, and they all taste like Olympia. This is not a bad thing, but it got boring. A man needs variety.

Liquor is far less available. Only a handful of the drinking establishments we patronized carried whiskey, and it was expensive as shit (we're talking $10/drink for regular stuff). The cool thing was that when you did order it, they poured you a glass of whiskey roughly the size of a glass of wine. None of that one-finger bullshit you sometimes get here in The States.

Wine is the Spaniards' main jam, and it is fantastic. Shit is cheap, too. If you see a Spanish bottle of wine anywhere outside of Whole Foods in The States, it's probably their equivalent of $5 grapey Vendange that they sell to us for $15. The stuff in Spain is the Real Deal Holyfield for sure. The only problem is that it was impossible to find a corkscrew there. We went to at least six stores in search of one, and in our desperation we ended up having to buy a novelty "España" corkscrew from a crappy gift shop. Naturally, it broke before we got the first bottle open. It wasn't even worth the substantial embarrassment incurred shamefully walking into the gift shop to buy it. The UN should seriously look into the Spanish corkscrew situation--it is a violation of human rights on a massive scale.

Patatas bravas

There are a few "American-style" bars around, but most of them are of the more Spanish "cerveceria" style, which rules. They're often unpretentiously but tackily decorated, fluorescent-lit, and cheap. Better yet, they give you free food with your drinks. This food was not the typical stale popcorn and/or pretzels that you get at honest bars in The States; it was legit stuff like bread and manchego or patatas bravas (awesome home fries with a spicy tomato-based sauce). It was hearty fare--one could seriously live off cerveceria food alone.

IN CONCLUSION: The Libertine would totally live in a cerveceria.

PIGS

As history will attest, Spaniards love the heck out of Jesus. The only thing they may love more than That Old Hippy? Pork. It is everywhere, and it is delicioso. Of our many Spanish pork encounters, I most enjoyed a delicacy called "cochinillo," which is Spaniardish for "roast suckling pig." It sounds nasty, but once you have your first bite, any unsavory thoughts you may have about eating a baby pig snatched unborn out of a mama pig's womb fly out the window, and you suddenly find yourself living almost excessively high on the culinary hog.

Jamón feel the noise.

Cochinillo was my favorite Spanish pork experience, but jamón was everywhere. There were these "Museo del Jamón" ("museum of the ham") chain stores that sold pork haunches all over the place, the grocery stores had literal walls of ham haunches for sale, and all of the restaurants had these weird pork-haunch clamp thingees (above) that presumably allowed for easy carving. Although it was plenty tasty, jamón has this weird feet-like odor, and all of the haunches you saw all over the place still had vestiges of the pig's hair/fur/whatever on them.

IN CONCLUSION: It is awesome seeing pork haunches all over the place.

Stay tuned for Part 2!!!!.....!

A Cautionary Tale

2011-12-30T15:55:00.001-08:00

The new year is quickly approaching, and one of the only good things about the temporal wormhole that is The Holidays is all the year-end best-of and worst-of lists. They're vapid, but they're also hugely entertaining compared to all the other boring shit going on this time of year.

In going through the obligatory worst-dressed lists (dressing well is as much about knowing what sucks as it is about knowing what rules), The Libertine emitted an audible gasp when he came across these pics of Al Pacino taken during the past year. What the fuck happened to him?

Pacino always seemed like one of those dudes' dudes who could rock whatever shit he happened to be wearing whilst not caring too much. These days, however, he either turns up as 1) a confused, insane, drunken uncle who can't find the avocados, or 2) a nip-tucked, fake-tanned, bloated turd of a washed-up actor. This is what happens when you're rich and famous and everyone sucks your dick all the time. Jesus. Money is wasted on the rich.

"Now where are those goddam avocados?"

Dear The Libertrix,

2011-12-29T10:32:00.000-08:00

I know that your New Year's Resolution was to learn to rap "Superbass" from start to finish, but it looks like this bitch beat you to it:

Don't fret my pet--your version is going to rule. (And yes you'll get slapped if you're looking, 'ho.)

Rock Still Lives! (Sort Of)

2011-12-28T15:09:00.000-08:00

The Libertine has always been wary of two-person bands, especially two-person bands that got their start in the early 2000s, have a "The" in the band name, and play garage-ish rock. Nevertheless, he was won over by The Black Keys after a good friend hooked him up with a flash drive full of their tunes last year. Shit rules--last year's Grammy award notwithstanding, theirs is honest rock and roll to which a man can be proud to listen.

The past year has been an absolute graveyard in terms of good, new rock and roll. These days it's always the classic rock station in The Libertinemobile, and that gets depressing after awhile. How many times can you listen to "You Shook Me All Night Long" without starting to feel like a braindead drywall guy? (Three times.)

Well, The Black Keys have thankfully manned up and are poised to save rock and roll (at least for a little while) with their new EP, El Camino. It absolutely helps that they named it after that most badass mullet of automobiles. The record is the aural equivalent of a souped-up mid-70s El Camino, and it warms The Libertine's nether regions. This is not a record that you listen to while you're balancing your checkbook--you should be driving too fast, drinking whiskey, or getting laid, preferably all three at the same time.

Here are the boys playing one of their new jams on Letterman. Even the jaded old buzzard seems pumped to have them rocking his shit out:

Far From The Usual 'Ho

2011-12-27T00:41:00.000-08:00

Here Li'l Wayne sends a jam out to the ladies--novocaine singing and everything. He sings the praises of a special woman, noting that she is "far from the usual 'ho." Don't be daunted by the depressing first half of the video; this jam has a happy ending and our far-from-usual 'ho protagonist ends up going to law school or some shit.

This Absolutely Has To Be...

2011-12-12T22:36:00.000-08:00

...a Russian wedding photo. As the Colonel says, "street ladies are like painted gutters":

Mierda.

2011-11-19T15:29:00.000-08:00

Exposed brick hotel room, bocadillos, vino tinto, tapas, and receta campesina chips. That's right bitches: The Libertine is taking Spain. Shit rules super hard here, but unfortunately even Spanish TV throws the occasional turd at you. This particular turd is Jared Fucking Leto's fake-ass band's newest shit video.

We've hated on Leto's crappy band here at A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey before, but this video is beyond horrible. Even the high of the madrileño lifestyle could not innoculate against the rage incited by this pretentious piece of mierda:

Black Baby Supermodel

2011-11-01T00:33:00.000-07:00

Here he is: the most famous black baby on The Internet$. If you type "black baby" into Google, you get a surfeit of photos of this li'l blue-eyed charmer.

Boom:

Boom:

BOOM:

Guitar Histrionics

2011-10-16T01:05:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty cool clip. It was not often that these old limey bands got to play truly live on TV shows, but here's a video of The Kinks ruling--doublelivegonzo style. You know this is live because you can hear Dave Davies fuck up on the rhythm part before ripping into a monster solo. Solos can be really boring, but this one here is an awesome dirty musical fingerblast in the back of a Ford Granada. In a good way.

Torn And Frayed

2011-10-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

Keith Richards at the height of his smack habit in 1977? Or The Libertine at the height of his advanced degree habit on a Wednesday afternoon in 2011?

The Whiff Of Weed Every Few Feet

2011-10-11T00:45:00.000-07:00

A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey has a readership of approximately 5 individuals. The Libertine is quite certain that 3 or 4 of those sad souls are the the few lucky people who survived this 1978 Van Halen concert.

To those of you about to rock, we salute you.

It's Britneh, Betch.

2011-10-02T23:40:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite VMA performances of all time. Aside from Britneh's bloated and confused visage, I really enjoy the perfunctory head mic she's rocking. Did she really think we didn't know she wasn't singing? This performance is a date-rape enthusiast's wet dream.

The "It" Set

2011-10-02T00:23:00.000-07:00

Were all of these videos shot on the same damn set? What is it about this particular set that inspires the greatest video treatments of our epoch?

Give Me. A Keg. Of Beer.

2011-09-15T23:13:00.000-07:00

And these.

Intelligent Design

2011-09-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

If Tha Good Lord really has a plan like they say He does, He will arrange for you to see this video for the first time today with a joint in your hand. Marijuana's bad sometimes kids, but not when you're watching the Stones cover Robert Johnson in 1969. Then it's just good.

Don't Call It A Comeback...

2011-09-08T23:14:00.000-07:00

...because The Libertine ain't never left, bitches. Just in case you began to doubt A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey's dedication to The Gold Standard, here's a video for the ages. Has there ever been a more absurd assemblage of personages onstage? Rod the Bod is ready to get on to his solo work, Ron Wood is pumped that Keith is jamming with him, and that Japanese bass player has his shirt unbuttoned to his belt. It's a little bit like looking at The Face of God.

The Libertine's favorite part, however, is how fucking into it Keith Richards is. Dude was absolutely wasted on everything ever and yet he's up there screwing the neighbor's dog like it owed him money. If you don't feel like this about what you do, you need to find another job son.

Lollipop Bling

2011-08-02T21:44:00.000-07:00

This video of Mariah Carey is just amazing. I don't know if it's the prescription meds or the fact that she just shot out twins, but she's in fine full-on-over-the-top insane diva mode in this video, where she hocks her shit, dictates camera shots, and discusses her "literally" 47-week pregnancy (was she gestating an elephant?). This is almost as good as watching a good Lou Reed interview. Some of my favorites:

"It's been a long time baby and it has been a rough road."

"The last collection, which was called 'Lollipop Bling...'"

"I need a fragrant moment."

"There's always drama! It follows me. Sometimes it's good; sometimes it's weak."

"Why are you not wearing diamonds from head to toe?"

Dissatisfaction

2011-07-20T19:54:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard to find a blazer like this? Why?

One like this would do as well:

Men's clothing is so fucking boring.

Speaking Of Russia...

2011-07-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

Can you believe these terribly/amazingly photoshopped Russian marriage pictures? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around them:

The couple that hunts together stays together. The only thrill greater than bagging yourself a great big 14-point buck is...love:

Hilarity!

This one was really hard for me to figure out at first (check out a bigger version here for the full effect). I thought the woman had been captured, tortured, and would soon be killed by the groom, who appears to be sharpening his light shears. Then I realized that he was trying to slay the dragon to save his fair damsel. Look, he's even got a half dozen roses for her...sitting on top of an AK-47. Amazing attention to detail:

Them Panties? Get 'Em Off

2011-07-18T19:03:00.000-07:00

Wow this video is pretty fucking unbelievable, even by Russia's backwards standards. Putin's thinking about running for president again or something, which simply means he'll get the title back. Despite being a democracy (*finger quotes*), Russia's czars retain power until they're debilitated and turning yellow from being pickled in vodka. Or dead.

In this video, amidst the corny Russian boobs, we're urged to vote for Putin. Our protagonist here goes so far as to write "I will tear off my clothes for Putin" on her shirt before proceeding to strip. The cheesy "heep hop" soundtrack suggests that Putin thoroughly knows how to throw down in the club...just like he does on the world stage.

It's pretty amazing. I'd vote for him.

Keeping It Classy

2011-07-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

CURRENT MOOD: Classy.

Lady Gaga - Edge Of Glory

2011-07-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

Lady Gaga's latest video has an awesomely cheesy 80s vibe to it.

I'm glad she decided to go simple on this one. While reasonably awesome, her last couple of videos have been sorta clunky megabudget epics. I was beginning to worry that she was going down the Michael Jackson road, but all you've got to deal with on this one is a Sesame Street set, gratuitous fist pumping, Clarence Clemons, copious smoke machine usage, and Gaga hamming it up for the camera. I approve--it rules.

Not long after this was shot, Clarence Clemons bought the farm. Pour some of that shit in your cup out for him.

Bye Bye Miss American Pie

2011-07-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

They just don't make rock and roll like this anymore.

High-draulics

2011-07-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

Watch the whole thing, but, take it from me, it gets better after :26. The mouth starts moving.

-A

After some practice:

Done Roadtripped

2011-07-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

Roadtripping along the diagonal part of Nevada is a special treat. How long do you think it takes to drive from Reno to Las Vegas? No--longer. Try 7 hours. It's a little less if you've got a good leadfooted co-pilot with eagle-eyes for hidden cops.

It's a long, lonely stretch of desert with too many two lane highways where you're stuck behind an asshole going 10 mph under the speed limit until you go to pass and then he speeds up to 90. In every little burg, cops are hidden right behind the 35 mph signs to catch you coming into town off the highway at 70 mph. There is no cell phone service, and blown tire debris eerily litters the entire stretch.

But it's also beautiful, and it can be a fun ride as long as you've got party jams and a good traveling companion.The Libertine is not much of a picture-taker, but here are a few pix from he and The Libertrix's pilgrimage to Arizona.

Tonopah, NV:

Gas station bathroom find ("use with or without a condom"):

Vegas has changed a lot. One highlight of many was mobbing through The Venetian chugging straight from a bottle of Kirkland wine. Monsoon:

We arrived in Phoenix to a gift of Templeton Rye from The Libertine's uncle. Apparently Al Capone used the drink the shit, and it does indeed rule. I would totally make it my regular jam if I were a Prohibition-era crime lord. My uncle's message: "If you don't drink the entire bottle today, you're a pussy:"

A ginormous dust storm (apparently called a "haboob"?) engulfed the Valley on Tuesday night. We still went out and got booze. (Not my picture):

The Libertine felt like a balla taking his ladyfriend for a spin in a '62 Corvette. He was so busy being incredible that he drove the wrong way down a one-way street in downtown Phoenix. People were waving and gesticulating wildly; he felt like a real celeb:

Mustache Rides cost extra:

As you might imagine, a convertible Corvette in Phoenix was hot as shit. The Libertine and the ladyfriend staved off hyperthermia by spending an afternoon at Durant's downtown. One of the trip's best times:

It's Madness. Sheer Madness!

2011-07-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

Speaking of sheer shirts, can you think of any occasion upon which they would be appropriate? Of course not. That's because nobody can pull them off--they always look ridiculous:

And when we say nobody can pull them off, we mean nobody:

Judy Is A Punk

2011-07-11T19:03:00.000-07:00

Here's a swell video of The Ramones playing "Judy is a Punk" in 1974. Pretty rough, kids. And hey-o: Johnny is shamelessly rocking an unbuttoned sheer shirt. Natch.

Here's the same tune being put to good use by Wes Anderson (love this scene):

Why? Because The Libertine can.

Independence Day

2011-07-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

Happy fucking fourth, America.

Roadtripping

2011-06-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's summertime and The Libertine be tripping. Roadtripping, that is. We takin' this A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey party on the road bizatches!

Also: one listen to this song and it will become your summerjam. You're welcome.

Great Expectations

2011-06-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

Christ. Where do the days go? Summer is supposed to consist of nothing more than waking up at 10, daily mimosas, fresh fruit, lying in the grass, the smell of sun on your ladyfriend's hair, white wine spritzers, road trips, prodigious consumption of beer, sprinklers, bar patio drinking, freshly cut lawns, and the grilling of absurd amounts of meat.

Even though summer has thus far not lived up to The Libertine's admittedly high expectations, shit is looking up. After all, a new crashpad, an upcoming road trip, and a girl a fella loves is pretty dang fantastic. Now if he can just find a pair of python boots...

A Dramatic Reading Of The Weinerlogues

2011-06-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

Congressman Anthony Weiner obviously did not take our advice on the inadvisability of dick pics, and now look at him--his shit is unraveling all over the place.

In this clip, Bill Maher and Jane Lynch give a dramatic reading of the amateurish sexytime messages Weiner sent some blackjack dealer via The Facebooks. Sexting, regardless of the medium, is a lot like dick pics: it's hard to imagine how any intact female organism would find them remotely attractive. Weiner's sexting prose ("You will surely make noise when I take you deep. I will tell you how tight your pussy feels.") is the written-word equivalent of an 8th grader jerking off to the Sears catalogue.

Walk Of Shame

2011-06-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

Here's why Britain installed those security cameras all over the place: to catch magic like this. This dude is what the Limeys would call "rat arsed," which translates to "abominably shitfaced" in American.

Now The Libertine has been offensively inebriated a time or two in his day, but this guy is death-by-misadventure-level crunked. Can you imagine what he looked like the next morning? His shit must have been to' up. To' up! Final score: stairs 3, this dude 0.

Robert Zimmerman Turns 70

2011-05-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Bob Dylan turned 70. Watching these clips, you realize why everyone gets slushpanties talking about how great he was--he was in many ways the original rock and roll archetype. Elvis had the hair and the moves but was saddled with the intelligence of a turtle. Whether you can dig Dylan's music or not, you can see his influence everywhere, from the Beatles to The Strokes.

Also: why can I not find a pair of trousers like he has in the clip above? Why must men's clothing always be so fucking boring?

"I don't mind being shot, but I don't dig being told about it:"

Snarky before there was a word for it:

On Rock Exemplars

2011-05-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

Everybody has their own idea of what rock and roll is. I mean, some folks think Maroon 5 is rock and roll. Seriously. I mean, they sound like a middling-to-good Mormon band, but that is, of course, a very different thing than being a rock and roll band.

Whatevs, but as far as The Libertine is concerned, this is one of those songs that come close to being rock exemplars. It's got all the good stuff one would want for a night of drinking: a double-entendre title, five or less chords, a caveman beat, unaffected vocals, country-fied lead guitar, not-too-slick production, and lyrics (but not too many) about girls. The rad sax solo is a bonus.

The Stones - Miss You

2011-05-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

Lawd I miss you child!

Sidebar Supernova

2011-05-21T16:10:00.000-07:00

I don't know--Saturday just seems like a good day for a bunch of pictures of rock penises, some more conspicuous than others. You're welcome:

KEITH:

ROBERT PLANT:

IGGY:

NEW YORK DOLLS:

BON SCOTT:

ROD THE BOD:

JIMI HENDRIX (Plaster Caster!)

KEITH AGAIN:

BRIAN JONES (and Keith...again):

MICK JAGGER:

THE DUDE ANDY WARHOL HAPPENED TO BE DOING AT THE TIME:

Don't Carry Me Too Far Away

2011-05-20T17:43:00.000-07:00

Getting the hell out of Dodge for a few days for some California blues. Shit will rule, but I'll be damned if leaving Reno ain't a whole hell of a lot harder than it used to be.

Kudos, Canada

2011-05-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Every now and then, Canada does something awesome. Well, I guess not that often, but hockey and this song are two things for which Canadians can hold their heads high. This is a fantastic road trip song.

Coming Day And Night

2011-05-18T15:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you were all shocked when you heard that Ah-nold has a 10-year-old lovechild by his family's housekeeper. Not a big surprise, right? I shudder to think about how many other governator-spawn might be running around out there.

On a related topic, how did the word "come" come (hey-o) to be spelled "cum?" I tried to research this but you can imagine what nightmares popped up when I googled it. There is no Wikipedia entry for "cum." Yet.

The three-letter spelling just seems vulgar somehow. I feel like one "comes" with their boyfriend or girlfriend, but "cums" with a hooker or a porn star. "Nite," "lite," and "donut" are all like that--they're trashy versions of the more distinguished and properly-spelled originals.

I'm guessing that advertising firms are somehow involved in the invention of these spellings. The only thing they like better than changing "-ing" to "-'in" (e.g. Grilling Beans = Grillin' Beans) is spelling words with fewer letters than are necessary. It's so odd--has research shown that people are more likely to buy shit when the product name has fewer letters or something? I've always been annoyed by the fact that "grillin'" seems peppier and down-homier than "grilling"--it's so condescending. Fuck them.

Spiking The Ball

2011-05-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

We done killed Osama Bin Laden last week, and The Libertine is celebrating just like every other red-blooded American: guns, beer, ATVs, and American flags. Obama's not going to let us spike the ball, but we can git 'er done any-damn-how. USA! USA!

Cla$$ing It Up, Reno $tyle

2011-05-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

The Libertine hates Tuesdays like Michael Scott hates Toby, but shit is going to rule tonight.

Although most of his friends scoffed when he told them, The Libertine is superpumped to be seeing Ke$ha tonight. Ke$ha in Reno--it doesn't get much more A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey than that right thurr. And when you've got a ladyfriend who's willing to go with you, well, that's a special state of affairs. Life is damn good.

An Honest Mistake

2011-04-28T13:57:00.000-07:00

We are at our most vulnerable when we are hungover. Throbbing heads, sandpapery eyes, dry noses, unquenchable thirsts, and insatiable salt-lusts are not the conditions under which good decisions are made.

I was in such a state this morning when I decided to hit up a McDonald's in Sparks. Mistake #1.

Indecisiveness in the face of irrational hunger is another feature of a dirty hangover, and I stood dumbfounded before the breakfast menu, unable to choose what would be inevitably be my downfall.

The Sausage, Egg, & Cheese Biscuit appears to be a McDonald's breakfast menu anomaly. It's never featured and it seems like you have to just order it and they will secretly and begrudgingly make it for you ("Here you go--just don't tell anyone about it"). In my hungover state, I didn't have the wherewithal to just order it, and the closest thing to it on the menu was the Sausage, Egg, & Cheese McGriddle. That looked close enough and I ordered it. Mistake #2.

I don't know what I was thinking--apparently I didn't attend to the "McGriddle" part of the name. The picture looked like a regular Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit on an English muffin-looking thing. I was appalled to find that I had ordered the equivalent of a Sausage, Egg, & Cheese Biscuit with dense, moist maple syrup-flavored mini-pancakes (McDonald's calls them "griddle cakes") in place of the biscuit.

One bite was enough to turn my stomach--I couldn't continue. One bite. I felt like I was committing a hate crime. I tried to power through by taking the innards out of the "griddle cakes" and eating them separately, but I suddenly realized how sad it all was and just threw it away. I shamefully walked back to my vehicle and drove home in embarrassed silence.

Kiss Sucks

2011-04-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

Driving home hungover is always good cause for grumpiness, but driving home hungover when it's raining and fucking Kiss comes on the radio is just plain day-ruining.

Can you think of a band that is more overrated than Kiss? I didn't think so. Chances are you've only ever heard one of their songs. You know--that one where they repeat the thing about their desire to "rock and roll all night and party e-ver-y day" eight million times. It's an annoying song, and the whole makeup thing is just stupid.

Which is why this video is so satisfying. Wow, Kiss goes makeup-less. What a concept. How desperate must they have been? You can tell they're trying to make a big deal out of it by the way they show the guys' feet and chubby legs for an inordinate amount of time before the camera pans up to show four greasy, out of touch, and STD-laden men wearing ridiculously inappropriate clothes some shitty 80s rock stylist picked out for them. Sad.

I'm guessing the makeup is the only way Gene Simmons convinced thousands of women to let him put his rotten penis inside of them. Look at him--he's a mega-schlub and is making the date-rape face throughout the entire video.

As we all know, Kiss put the makeup back on and became successful again and had action figures made of themselves yada yada yada. This video makes me happy though--I like to think about how insecure they must have felt around this time.

Found. Finally.

2011-04-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it can be a real pain in the ass to find Zep songs--they seemingly delighted in choosing song titles that have absolutely nothing to do with the song's contents.

Getting Down Just For The Funk Of It

2011-04-22T20:05:00.000-07:00

If this jam doesn't make you shake that moneymaker, you just might be dead.

This could totally be The Libertine's stripping song. Either this or "Billie Jean."

Baby, You Were Born This Way

2011-04-22T18:54:00.000-07:00

Is The Libertine the only person not offended by Lady Gaga's recent quote regarding the similarity between her "Born This Way" and Madonna's "Express Yourself?" Yes, they're similar, and we're not sure you could answer a question about the similarity any better than this:

"That's retarded. If you put the songs next to each other, side by side, the only similarities are the chord progression. It's the same one that's been in disco music for the last 50 years. Just because I'm the first fucking artist in 25 years to think of putting it on Top 40 radio, it doesn't mean I'm a plagiarist, it means I'm fucking smart. Sorry."

Winning. She had to apologize for using the word "retarded," but as Michael Scott sagely put it, "You don't call retarded people 'retards.' It's bad taste. You call your friends 'retards' when they're acting retarded."

There Would Be No Way Of Knowing

2011-04-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

The Libertine is really into The Office right now, and Creed Bratton always gets some choice lines. Like this one.

The Stones - All Down The Line

2011-04-22T16:16:00.000-07:00

What would Good Friday be without some dirty Stones? Here's an outtake of "All Down The Line" with a bunch of cool Exile-era filmage.

You can't watch this and not think that the Stones, at this moment in time, were the absolute coolest band on the face of the planet. They just did not give a fuck.

The absence of this sort of thing is why no one cool listens to contemporary rock and roll. Rappers are busy pouring champagne on beezies, getting sent to jail on gun charges, and having their faces tattooed. Meanwhile, modern rock bands mope about that one girl who didn't talk to them that one time. Bo-ring.

Six Days On The Road

2011-04-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

Get your shitkickers on. This here's a killer version of Dave Dudley's penultimate trucker song by the post-Gram Parsons Flying Burrito Brothers (you can check out the Gram version at Altamont here). The steel pedal player is absolutely shredding.

Love Is Like A Ramblin' Rose...

2011-04-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

...the more you feed it, the more it grows.

Good lord--check out this MC5 performance from 1970. Back in the day, John Sinclair tried to market these guys as communist revolutionaries, but they're obviously just a great rock and roll band. The White Panther Party slogan captures what these dudes were about perfectly: rock and roll, dope, and fucking in the streets.

Testify.

Volume At 11

2011-04-22T13:30:00.000-07:00

Fuckin' A--it's Friday! Good Friday, no less (but what Friday isn't good amiright?).

In honor of the crucifixion of Jesus, we here at A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey are turning shit up to 11 and posting some amazing rock and fucking roll tuneage all day. Be excellent to each other.

Zorro On Donuts

2011-04-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

God these two are so fucking weird, but this tune rules hard. You must watch.

Also: I always have a chuckle when I think about Noel Gallagher calling Jack White "Zorro on donuts."

Lazy Sunday

2011-04-11T19:17:00.001-07:00

Bloody Mary - Mastered

2011-04-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Making a good Bloody Mary is something every man should be able to do. It's in the same category as changing a tire, starting a fire, and tipping the velvet.

What, you may ask, is the recipe for the perfect Bloody Mary? A valid question no doubt, but it is one The Libertine cannot answer for you. Every Bloody Mary is a little different, and developing one's own recipe is a personal journey--a coming of age story. You cannot Google that shit.

And so, on this day, The Libertine is happy to report that he appears to have finally mastered The Cocktail's Cocktail and may now make claim to legitimate manhood. The sense of accomplishment is overwhelming.

...And On The Seventh Day The Libertine Rested

2011-04-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sunday mornings when you're rough as old boots are the worst, especially when you have shit to do. You're trying to get where you're going, and those lazy fuckers who don't have anything to do are driving like grannies because they've got the time to burn. God was a square but he had the whole "day of rest" thing right. People shouldn't have to do shit on a Sunday. That's all I'm saying.

So this Sunday morning was coming down like that, but I was listening to Little Steven's Underground Garage and he played this new-ish jam from Social Distortion. I've always had a soft spot in this hardened heart for a little Social D, but this one was perfect this morning. Summer is coming and it is going to rule.

Dopplegangers: American Idol Edition

2011-04-07T09:47:00.001-07:00

This has been driving me crazy. There's this silly kid on American Idol who reminds me of someone, but I just couldn't put my finger on who that someone was.

Then, this morning, a revelation:

Dude is totally Slimer from Ghostbusters. Separated at birth!

Puttin' A Brick Through The Other Guy's Windshield

2011-04-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gotten so caught up in the day-to-day that you forgot to handle the real shit? Of course you have. Being able to recognize that fact separates you and The Libertine from the general population.

Iterations Of The Perfect Day

2011-04-04T14:17:00.000-07:00

It wasn't drinking sangria in the park or feeding animals in the zoo or anything, but I'd have to say that a Saturday full of Bloody Marys, High Life, shuffleboard, and countless rounds of Big Buck Hunter in Truckee is pretty damn close to perfect in my book. Fuck a Monday.

Update: Rock Still Rad

2011-04-02T16:20:00.000-07:00

In England they have this fantastic thing called Later...with Jools Holland. It's a show where they have actual bands playing live music on television. It rules. America: it's not rocket science.

Plus: how amazing were The Darkness back in The Day?

Hidden Treasures

2011-04-01T09:44:00.000-07:00

How have I never heard this song before?

Last night, whilst lazily watching Stones videos after a bitch of a week, a little birdie whispered in my ear that this tune was amazing. Although I've never had any reason to doubt this particular birdie, I was a tad skeptical--I had never even heard of this dude. Look at those amazing suits they're rocking.

Sometimes, a fella starts to feel like there's nothing new under the sun music-wise. It's good to discover new shit.

Ew, Gross Dude

2011-03-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or is this most ridiculously misogynistic video you've ever seen? It's not even misogynistic in a cool way.

Ok, Cheer Up: It's Friday

2011-03-25T11:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we realize that last post might have been a bit of a downer, but on the bright side: it's Friday, biotches!

Keep On Rocking In The Free World

2011-03-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

We used to worry about nuclear holocaust when I was a kid. Or I did, anyway. It was the 80s and even though Gorbachev made the big, bad Soviet Union seem a little less terrifying, there was always the possibility that either he or Regan could get red-button happy and nuke us all.

These days we don't worry about the World War III stuff so much. Sure, there's terrorism, but that's a far cry from the complete annihilation of the human race.

So things seem pretty hunky dory, but when was the last time you went to an American public school? That shit is scary and broken, and we keep slapping band-aids on it. It blows my mind that we'll pay a lawyer millions of dollars to broker a merger between two corporations while we expect teachers to teach our spoiled children (who are the future of our nation) every day for $30K a year. We'll spend billions on new technology that will allow us to have remote control tanks, but we won't spend that same amount on a technology that will allow us to teach our offspring more effectively.

This is not a "do it for the children" rant; these children are the people who will be running this place in a few years. That, my friends, is terrifying.

We're Getting Old.

2011-03-24T09:00:00.001-07:00

Jesus look at this dude--he was the awesome baby on the cover of Notorious B.I.G.'s Ready to Die. Some people peak really early. Is it just us or does this make us feel superold?

Also: I wonder what the Nevermind baby is doing these days?

Brooklyn Bound

2011-03-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

The Libertine is officially on vacation--and it feels fucking great.

Carnival!

2011-03-08T10:10:00.000-08:00

It's Carnival time in Brazil, and what better way to celebrate here in the still-frozen North than watching a video of a young and very stupid Ahnold Schwarzenegger cavorting and molesting women in Rio?

This video is chock full of ridiculous over-the-top machismo, but Ahnold saves his best material for last, lecherously tricking a Brazilian woman into sucking on a carrot as he teaches her super-useful English words like "biting." Yep, Californians made this guy their governor.

The Chuck E. Experience

2011-03-07T10:54:00.000-08:00

In the interests of having a classy Sunday afternoon drink, all of us here at A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey took a field trip to Chuck E. Cheese's, where a kid can be a kid and the adults can have one drink per hour. Seriously--they check your receipt.

We weren't sure Chuck E. Cheese's had booze, so imagine our elation when we walked up to the counter and saw four spigots coming out of the wall:

A closer inspection revealed that they served Bud, Bud Light, Rose (sic), and Chablis--all on tap. A classy joint indeed! I pictured the wine spigots being connected directly to one of those ginormous jugs of Carlo Rossi bumwine.

We endured the disgust of our hostess as we forwent (yep, that's a word--I googled it) food altogether and only ordered drinks. After all, that was the point of this incredible journey.

We walked through the crowds of children celebrating birthdays to a booth in the back and enjoyed our booze. Well, perhaps "enjoyed" is too strong of a word: the beer was watery and oddly fruity, and the Chablis tasted a lot like Thunderbird wine.

Nevertheless, it got the job done and we basked in the glory that is reserved for those who go above and beyond to satisfy their boozelust in wildly inappropriate places.

Respecting One's Elders (NSFW)

2011-03-06T15:33:00.000-08:00

We Americans like to think that we're into some really nasty shit, but if any developing country is giving us a run for our money, it has to be Japan. They've got some bizarre stuff going on over there pornwise, and although this video may be relatively mild, it's vastly entertaining (and totally NSFW--and a first here at A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey).

Ladies and gentlemen: meet Shigeo Tokuda, the 74-year-old Japanese porn star.

Odd Men Out

2011-03-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that there's always one ugly, fat, and/or old dude in every boy band? I just don't understand this phenomenon. You would think that these bands' svengalis would go for a band full of pin-up boys, but there's always one minger who doesn't appear to contribute anything to the band and never gets any camera time.

Now don't get confused here: there's always one "alternative" dude with tattoos or edgy hair who's usually pretty damn ugly, but they're in the group to appeal to the Hot Topic crowd. The guys I'm talking about serve no discernible purpose--they're just ugly and they don't belong. Don't believe me? Behold:

BACKSTREET BOYS

'N SYNC

98 DEGREES

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

THE BEATLES

See what I mean? Maybe they think we won't notice--if at least 75% of the group is passable teen idol material, our eyes trick us into think that these ugly dudes are decent looking. But from today henceforth, be fooled no longer!

Female Sushi Chefs!

2011-03-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

Ladies have been prevented from flinging sushi for centuries. The Japanese love them some sushi, and one of the main skills of the sushi chef is said to be in how he packs the nigiri (the rice underneath). Women were supposedly not allowed to make sushi because their hands were warmer than a man's (not true), and therefore could not pack the rice properly.

To some folks' dismay, a restaurant in Tokyo has finally broken with tradition and hired an entire staff of female sushi chefs. Score one for enlightenment. Next up: female Presidents and Catholic priests.

Ludacris The Autoclitic Rapper

2011-03-02T13:01:00.000-08:00

Does Ludacris even put out his own records anymore? Every time you see him these days, he's inanely guesting on someone else's jam, providing the generic rap verse to prevent the listener's habituation to a boringly repetitive pop song.

Here he freeloads on Justin Bieber's shit, waxing nostalgic about some 13-year-old beezy from the halcyon days of his youth. Gross, dude.

Charlie Sheen: Not Bipolar, Bi-Winning!

2011-02-28T12:58:00.000-08:00

Wow, this interview with Charlie Sheen is utterly amazing. Dude is hilariously deranged.

My favorite exchange:

Charlie Sheen: "I don't know man, I was banging seven gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed. I have one gear: GO."

Lady: "How do you survive that?"

CS: "Because I'm me. I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. You know, I've got tiger blood, man."

L: "You don't worry that you're going to die when you take that many drugs?"

CS: "Dying's for fools."

Later on, he drops this gem: "Especially when you see how I party man--it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of 'em, look like, droopy-eyed armless children."

Charlie Sheen death watch is so on.

Spreading The Word

2011-02-27T10:57:00.000-08:00

Looks like somebody's been reading A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey.

Clinic: Extinction

2011-02-26T17:18:00.000-08:00

Extinction is a procedure whereby a consequence that is maintaining (reinforcing) a particular behavior is withheld, resulting in a decrease in that behavior.

The consequences that would presumably maintain/reinforce the behavior of throwing a pineapple upside down cake at Alice Cooper at a show in 1970 are as follows:

1. The sight of the pastry hitting Alice Cooper in the mug.

2. Some observable reaction from Alice Cooper (ranting, laughter, disgust, etc.).

Alice Cooper is a rock star, not a behavior analyst, but the way he handles this shit is exemplary. There is no way he can undo/prevent the sight of the pie hitting himself in the mug, but he withholds the observable reaction reinforcer like a champ.

This is how you do it. Alice Cooper, we salute you, both as a rock icon and as a rock clinician.

High On Life - Chuck Strikes Again

2011-02-25T14:39:00.000-08:00

Here at A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey, we've always been flabbergasted and half-impressed with the Caligulan debaucheries Charlie Sheen is able to get away with on a regular basis. He beats women with aplomb, hoovers mountains of coke, and must hold the record for most PR rehab stints done within a single lifetime.

It appears, however, that Teflon Chuck has really done it this time. Fresh off his last bender/meltdown/rehab trifecta, Charlie goes partying in The Bahamas with a porn star, a marijuana magazine pin-up girl, his ex-wife, and an undoubtedly large quantity of pharmaceuticals.

His ex-wife leaves in a fit after several days, but that doesn't bring Charlie down: "We were four and are now three. Goodbye Brooke. Good luck in your travels. You're going to need it badly."

Not satisfied with this self-immolation, Charlie writes a letter to TMZ, ranting about some TV station's decision to cancel the rest of his crappy sitcom's season. He actually wrote this in the letter:

"Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."

Dude is so coked out that it's almost rock and roll. Does the fact that we find this shit so incredibly entertaining make us awful people?

Sleight Of Hand

2011-02-22T12:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday--the worst of all days that aren't Mondays!

For Lovers

2011-02-14T11:58:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is for lovers. And for pictures of Michael Jackson swigging vodka with two little people on his lap.

Wanted: Shirtless Egg Carrier For Grammys Red Carpet

2011-02-13T18:29:00.000-08:00

Awesome: Lady Gaga arrived at the Grammys this year in an egg carried by men wearing gold lamé hotpants. How does one get a gig as Lady Gaga's shirtless manservant?

Worst Sexx Jamm Ever.

2011-02-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight a good friend reminded The Libertine of this chestnut of yore, from back in the days when Arsenio Hall had his own television show and suits had ridiculously huge shoulder pads.

Sex jams have never been known for their lyrics, but this one from Color Me Badd walks the not-so-thin line between awkward and date rape. Here are some of the gems:

"Come inside take off your coat
I'll make you at home
Now let's pour a glass of wine
Cause now we're all alone"

Terrifying. Girl get your ass home because some shit is about to go down.

"We can do it 'til we both wake up"

Um, don't both people have to be awake for sex to be consensual?

"Disconnect the phone so nobody knows"

Does this poor girl's parents know where she is?

"Makin' love until we drown, dig"

The Libertine has made love a time or two in his life, and never once did he or his lover come close to asphyxiating due to suffocation caused by a liquid entering the lungs and preventing the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

Verdict: worst sexx jamm ever.

The Faces - "Stay With Me"

2011-02-07T18:02:00.000-08:00

Hop in the Way-Back Machine™ with The Libertine and travel back to a distant past where Rod Stewart rocked instead of singing half-assed ballads for Viagara-popping Baby Boomers.

From The Mouths Of Babes

2011-01-31T13:55:00.000-08:00

Though they are sometimes thought to be naive to the ways of the world, children often show an uncanny insight into adult matters.

While discussing her love of hunting and her intention to someday kill a deer, toddler beauty pageant contestant Ariana strikes upon a truism that, for most of us, requires many difficult life lessons: no matter what the situation may be, you just gotta cut something in the belly.

Get Upoffathat Thing.

2011-01-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

Saturday night is alright for fighting, but it's really best for getting upoffathat thing and shaking your moneymaker on the dance floor. Let Mr. James Brown help you out with that. Uh. Get down.

Wilco - "Sky Blue Sky"

2011-01-26T11:26:00.000-08:00

Here's a Sunday-afternoon-sitting-on-the-porch-looking-up-at-the-clouds-with-a-beer song for you on a Wednesday morning. The weekend's not as far away as it seems.

Silliest Lingerie Item

2011-01-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

So what's the silliest lingerie item you can think of? They're all pretty silly--as a good friend of mine says so eloquently, "you can't put lipstick on a pig." If shit ain't right, ain't no amount of lace goin' to make it right.

Nevertheless, if I had to choose the silliest lingerie item, it would have to be the "teddy." Apparently they were originally marketed under the names "envelope chemise" and "camiknickers." Sure--if you're going to do the lingerie thing, then yeah, go ahead and sign me up for those. But a supposedly sexy undergarment called a "teddy?" No. I'll take a t-shirt and cholo sweats over those (and all other lingerie items, actually) eight days a week. Real talk.

This Shit Here's A Rock And Roll Show

2011-01-13T21:19:00.000-08:00

For no apparent reason, I had a bit of a bad day the other day. Then I realized I hadn't listened to the Stones that day.

Worst Video Ever?

2011-01-11T16:27:00.000-08:00

The Libertine loves him some Steve Miller Band, but could this be the worst video ever? It has every cheesy 80s music video trope you can imagine, and even some you can't.

The Director: "More effects! I don't care how much it costs, get that goddamn ball spinning on an undersized Japanese umbrella! Wait, what? We're out of money? Fuck it, just throw a bunch of those forward/backward film shots in there."

EDIT: The Libertine hates the phrase "like a burning flame." It's redundant--a flame is, by definition, burning. There is absolutely no need for that adjective.

The Original

2011-01-10T19:54:00.000-08:00

We've had Iggy Pop on the brain here lately at A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey.

This video is surreal for so many reasons. They have an announcer trying to call the show like it's a good ol' baseball game instead of a staggering display of frustration and ill will. Iggy is clearly stoned out of his mind. It all ends in a maelstrom of sax, peanut butter, and confused teenagers hoisting up a guy wearing a dog collar.

Go Full Frontal: Ewan's McGregor

2011-01-04T17:08:00.000-08:00

I've always liked this scene of Ewan McGregor doing his best Iggy Pop in Velvet Goldmine. He acquits himself nicely.

The Rock Nerd in me compels me to point out that his character's shock treatment for homosexuality backstory was borrowed from Lou Reed, whose parents actually tried to cure him of The Gay. He's married to a woman now, so maybe it "worked"...

I also approve of the regularity with which Ewan McGregor flops his dick out onscreen. If I were an actor, I would have full frontal scenes written into every contract.

That's The Way

2011-01-04T13:25:00.000-08:00

Everything about this video rules. Every song should have a melody like this and end with the entire band singing it at their top of their lungs. All blazers should fit as well as Ray Davies' and be worn with shirts like his. Every band should have a stoned keyboard player that looks like as big of a party as this dude.

Welcome To 2011 - Iggy Pop

2011-01-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

The Libertine thinks a gaggle of rad Iggy Pop pics would be the best way to welcome you all to 2011. Enjoy.

As The Clock Strikes Midnight

2010-12-31T23:55:00.000-08:00

It's been a hell of a trip around the sun this time. Here's to hoping your next one rules. Happy New Year.

2010 In Pop

2010-12-31T14:07:00.000-08:00

This is the second New Year's Eve we've had the honor of ringing in here at A Ass Pocket Of Whiskey. If you were a fan of pop music in 2010, here's a nicely mashed-up retrospective for you.

The Audacity Of Hope

2010-12-29T12:19:00.000-08:00

The Daily Beast has compiled a list of the 40 Drunkest Cities in the States, and I am proud to report that Reno is ranked at a very respectable #5. Here are the top ten (check out the entire list here):

Milwaukee, WI
Fargo, ND
San Francisco, CA
Austin, TX
Reno, NV
Burlington, VT
Omaha, NE
Boston, MA
Anchorage, AK
San Diego, CA

The Libertine would like to think that he had something to do with Reno's impressive showing. Even though he only arrived in August, the five months of liver exercise he selflessly contributed must have had some positive effect on Reno's booze statistics. Is it a coincidence that his previous abode, San Francisco, in which he spent the first seven months of 2010, was ranked at #3? We think not.

#5 is good, but The Libertine is no also-ran, and neither is his adopted town. We will redouble our efforts in the coming year and dethrone Milwaukee as the booziest little city in the world in 2011. Sí se puede!!

You Ain't Got To Go Home...

2010-12-28T23:59:00.000-08:00

...but you've got to get the hell up out of here. The neighbors are calling the cops, so Tuesday Night Dance Party (TNDP) is officially over. Put a donk on it. Goodnight.